What Makes Me a Good Mom?

Recently I read an article that had to do with, "What makes you a good mom?"  While I am not the perfect mom, I thought about the things I do try to adhere to in my parenting.  Here are my thoughts on it:

I am a good mom because everyone tells me I am. 😁

Seriously, tho, I think I'm a good mom because I do things that my girls don't like, like nagging them about making their beds or eating their dinners, but don't resort to "because I said so".   I'm not afraid to make them upset with me, or even make them cry, even when it tears my heart to see them so.

I won't do their homework for them, but I do check it when it's done.  If I see a wrong answer, I tell them what the wrong one is, but have THEM figure out the correct answer.

I play with the girls, sing and dance with them, but have told them that under NO circumstances am I their friend; I'm their MOM!  However, I have told them that when they are grown up, we'll revisit that discussion.  While we are playing and one of them does something they shouldn't, my MOM-hat goes right on, and they know it. They know that I can go from silly and fun to disciplinarian on a dime.

I not only listen when they talk to me, I will either stop what I'm doing and face them, or ask them to "hold that thought" while I finish, telling them that I want to give them my undivided attention and can't right now. I let them know that what they say is important to me, even if they just want to tell me that it's one of their stuffed animal's birthday.

I ask them questions, and answer theirs. I'm not afraid to say, "I don't know," and if I don't know, I'll point them in the direction where they can find an answer.

If I make a mistake, like scold an innocent party, I will apologize.

I'm as honest as I can be with them, without oversharing.  I try to maintain a level of innocence without keeping them TOTALLY ignorant.  Oversheltering can be a bad thing: this, I know.

I teach by example. I try not to set a double-standard; like, if THEY need an umbrella, I need an umbrella.

I love their father, and they see the mutual respect we have for each other, and for them.

I discipline when necessary.

I hug often.

I will give them strawberry milk and asparagus.

I always make sure that I leave work on time to pick them up after school.

I tell them to "revel in their strangeness".

We eat dinner together; maybe not EVERY night, but almost.

We pray together.

We go to church together.

I hang their awards.

I love them with all my heart.

Sharing Memories

I absolutely love seeing the world through my daughters' eyes.

Now, I've never really lost "the child inside".  I've always had a gift of being able to remember a child's perspective, but seeing as a grown-up at the same time.  I've never NOT watched children's movies, cartoons, etc.  I have even retained the memory of huge portions of "One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish".

That said, I love reliving a lot of my childhood favorites with the girls.  Movies I loved as a child, television shows, book, music...all of it. 

Recently I had the blessing of FINALLY finding a copy of an animated movie that was the first one I got to see in the theatre with JUST my friends: parents basically just dropped us off, and the 4 of us walked in, bought our own tickets (and snacks), picked our own seats (near the front, naturally), and enjoyed.  This particular movie (simply titled "Once Upon a Time"...no relation to the current television series) has been virtually unfindable!  I've never seen it come on television, never rereleased in theatres, never seen it on VHS or DVD...until recently.  I was so excited, especially when I realized that my older daughter was the same exact age I was when I went to see it!
In my excitement, just as I was putting it into the machine, a horrible thought crossed my mind:

WHAT IF THE MOVIE WAS REALLY LAME???

Were my childhood memories fogged by years?  Did the movie just seem fantastic because of the independence?  I was actually a little nervous when we all sat down to view it.  Thankfully, the movie was actually a little BETTER than I remembered it, and the girls loved it.

Other things I have shared with the girls from my childhood include original segments of "Sesame Street", "Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood", most of the classic Disney Animated movies, "The Monkees" (both the music and the show), "Happy Days", "The Brady Bunch", my collection of Laura Ingalls Wilder and Roald Dahl books...so much more.

I'm glad that, thus far, the girls have enjoyed them; some more than others.  Example: while they thought "Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood" was cute, they're completely hooked on "The Brady Bunch" (and their reaction to Davy Jones showing up on an episode was almost as classic as the episode itself).

Don't get me wrong: it's not all MY stuff.  I also (most of the time) enjoy some of the newer music, shows, etc. that they like.  "My Little Pony" and "Victorious" are wonderfully addictive shows, and I find myself enjoying listening to Taylor Swift, Selena Gomez and Hunter Hayes.

Now, if I can just get so that I'm not crying my eyes out when I DO share a piece of my childhood with them...

How I hate the Super Bowl...let me count the ways...

I have never liked football, but it used to be just a passive, don't-really-give-a-darn dislike. Every year around Super Bowl time, however, it seems like people get worse and worse, making it so that I truly dread this time of year.  I found out yesterday that the local football team has made the Super Bowl again. Great. Now I get to dread that weekend more than usual.

Years ago my husband worked for a major company in their security department. His friend 'P' asked if he could fill in for 'P' for Super Bowl Sunday so that 'P' could see the game. My husband feels the same way about football as I do, so he thought, "Hmmm...'P' gets to see the game, I get paid overtime...BONUS!!!"

My husband was Officer In Charge. One of the other officers asked if he could listen to the game on the radio. My husband said, "On 2 conditions: I don't want to hear about it, and don't let it interfere with your work."

I am NOT kidding when I say that the other officer called my husband EVERY 10 MINUTES with game updates! I know this because my husband called home at one point, and during a 15-minute conversation, the guy called twice! My husband told him every time, "Stop calling me. I don't care!"

Later a few emergencies came up. All the time my husband was trying to deal with the fire emergency and another officer who had a death in the family, the guy called, interrupting, a number of times.  My husband handled these emergencies, then found the other guy and took his radio.

A few other things happened as well. When my husband complained to his boss, his boss actually said, "YOU should be more sympathetic; it's not every year [our local team] makes the Super Bowl!" and got a red mark on his record!

Fast forward to just a few years ago. Once again the local team made the SB. One day we needed to go shopping. My husband and I, and our 2-year-old daughter (and I was about 7-8 months pregnant) were shopping. My husband was wearing his favorite sweatshirt, a shirt that his father, who had died a few years earlier, had given him.  As we're shopping, people are giving us dirty looks and making rude, snide comments. Some people purposely bumped into us, without even a feigned apology. One guy threatened to beat my husband up!

My husband didn't know it (he really doesn't follow any sport but NASCAR), but the shirt he was wearing just happened to have the logo of the OTHER SB team for that year!

Just last year my husband came home from work and told me this: His relief asked my husband if he was working SB Sunday. My husband said no. The relief said, "Then you get to watch the Super Bowl!" My husband said that he wasn't; he wasn't into it. The relief said, "That's unAmerican!!!"

Excuse me? UNAMERICAN???

There are a lot of other reasons for me to dislike the "Stupid Bowl"...but these reasons are pretty hard to top. This SB Sunday after church my family is just going to go home and mind our own businesses...we won't even have the TV on.  There are a lot more interesting things going on than that piece of idiocy.  I only wish I could stop having it rammed down my throat at every turn.

“People throw rocks at things that shine…”

I’m inspired by another line from a song.  This time the song is “Ours” by Taylor Swift.  As my older daughter is one of the biggest Swift fans, I hear a lot of her work.  I’m not complaining; I enjoy it very much.  Mostly, I’m taken by her gift for words.  This particular line hit me.

“People throw rocks at things that shine”

Nowadays that is SOOOO true!

When I was a kid, people tried to be respectful to each other.  Parents taught their children, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”  Criticism were given, but given with care.

Sometimes, when I’m reading an article or a blog on the computer, I’ll check out the comments.  It’s really shameful the way people will try to outdo each other in being nasty!  If a celebrity announces having a child, there are comments like, “If that kid looks like the parent, it’ll be so ugly!” or “Another spoiled brat; they should be fixed!”  If someone wins an award, people complain about “Hollywood wasting money padding up their egos.”  If someone (celebrity or not) makes a large donation, their either accused of just trying to get attention…or worse, of not giving ENOUGH.

People throw rocks at things that shine, especially if it’s not theirs.

Even Ms. Swift herself is no stranger to these rocks.  She’s young, she’s talented, she’s beautiful, she’s successful, and she lives a clean life.  She truly shines.  As a result, she gets rocks.  “Her voice is horrible!”  “She can’t sing!” “All her songs sound the same.”  “She only writes about high school stuff!”  “She’s so stuck up.”  “Her eyes are too squinty.”  “How long ‘til she ends up in jail or on drugs?”  She’s never done anything to warrant any of these comments, and none of them are remotely true.  There are other young, clean celebrities in the same boat.

People throw rocks at things that shine.

How innocuous is a group of children reciting John 3:16?  Focus on the Family released a commercial for their organization that was nothing more than that.  They weren’t selling anything, weren’t beating anyone over the head, weren’t saying, “You’ll go to HELL if you don’t agree!”  It was simply a short film of children reciting John 3:16, with a few little embellishments.  It was actually cute.  It was originally shown during some football game.  I heard about it and saw it on YouTube.  I’ve heard that people have been making absolutely horrible comments!  Apparently, because some people were being so inflammatory, they made it so that people could not add comments!  Do the people making these comments feel threatened by these children?

I really wish that there were more positive comments in the world, that people would throw fewer rocks and shine more lights.

As an aside, my favorite comment that I almost always see in any article is, “Who cares?”  Obviously, THEY must, to have opened the article, read it, and take the time to make the comment.