Oh, Say Can You Sing...

I'm feeling a little grumpy about this.

My older daughter loves watching NASCAR.  She's been a fan since she was a baby.  She will sit and watch every race.  While the race is on, she'll do her nails, work on homework, do crafts, whatever...all the while paying attention to the race.  I don't mind that.

At the beginning of every race, they have an Invocation and the singing of the National Anthem.  When it starts, she will call me into the living room and we'll stand & bow our heads during the Invocation, then put our hands over our hearts for the singing of the National Anthem.  I don't mind that, either.

It's the actual singing of the Anthem that makes me grumpy.

Some of them will sing it straight, or close enough.  Sometimes a person can't help a natural vocal slide on a note.  Some of them are nervous and a little shaky, some of them full of confidence.  Sometimes a cappella, sometimes with full instrumental.  I actually enjoy those.   (I LOVE the strictly instrumental ones!)

Some of them sing it like a combination of Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston, adding notes all over the place, doing full octave jumps where there usually isn't one (most notably on the "land of the free" line).  I don't like those, but at least they're consistent.

It's the "inbetweeners" that drive me crazy.

They will start the song straight.  Very little embellishments.  Strong, yet subtle.  Then, all of a sudden, they hit the "bombs bursting in air" and they start feeling their oats.  Then their inner Diva comes into play and they're all over the map, vocal-wise.  After this, there are a few guarantees:

• "That our flag was still there" will go up instead of down;
• "Banner yet wave"...the "wave" will do just that...wave all over the place;
• "The land of the free"...do they REALLY have to jump an octave (or two) for "Free"?  What's worse; most of them who do it, really can't, and it comes out screechy.

Those were bad enough.  Lately, however, there is a whole new level added:  repeating "of the brave" in various different styles!  It's fine when you have a wonderful vocal quartet when one singer is holding the "brave" and the other three add an echo "of the brave", but a soloist tacking it on?  It normally comes out pretty bad.

I really wish that more people would see the honor that singing the National Anthem is at an event, and make it more about the Song and the Event...and less about their vocal prowess.

For the record, I HAVE sung the National Anthem at an event.  Solo.  A cappella.  I sang it straight.  I knew it wasn't about me.

The Good, The Bad, And the Educated

For no reason that I can really think of, lately I’ve been thinking of some of the teachers I’ve had in the past.  Although I really didn’t enjoy school, it wasn’t because of the teachers or the classes.  As a matter of fact, I can only really think of a few teachers, whom shall remain nameless, that ever gave me any problems, for instance:

• ·     My middle school science teacher, who was also the administrator for all of the Audio/Visual equipment; he spent more time out of the classroom taking care of OTHER classes’ needs.

• ·     I had a substitute in one of my high school English classes (covering a maternity leave) who didn’t like me and a friend of mine.  Although I was struck down with Mononucleosis and was out of school for a month, she refused to take that into consideration during research papers.  How she thought I was going to do a research paper when I was flat on my back, so sick I could barely THINK, and this was years before home computers were in just about every home.  We didn’t even have a set of encyclopedias.   Even though she said I could do an interview – which I thought I rocked – she still flunked me for the quarter.

• ·     My high school science teacher flat-out refused to pronounce OR spell my last name correctly, even though I corrected him every single time.

• ·     I won’t even get into my high-school chorus instructor.

That said, I really feel the need to give a “shout-out” to some of my favorite teachers, the ones who come to mind when I think of true educators from my childhood…in no particular order.  

• My first-grade teacher, Miss Richards, was a lovely woman, warm and fun.  She noticed that I was a good reader and let me attend a 3rd-grade reading class, taught by the wonderful Mrs. Lukas.  Both of them were encouraging and challenging at the same time.  I ended up in the hospital near the end of the school year, and they both came to see me together, bearing my favorite book from my reading class, “Hubert’s Hair-Raising Adventure”.  I still have it, with their inscription on the inside front cover.

• While I only had her for a month-and-a-half, I DO remember the teacher I had for second grade after we moved.  She welcomed me with open arms, even though I was shy and scared; and every day during snack she would pull out a record player and records.  Every time I hear the Byrds’ “Mr. Tambourine Man” I think of her.

• Miss Jean, my elementary school music teacher from grades 3-6 was a beautiful young blonde woman who encouraged me to find my voice.  She convinced me – actually, she DRAFTED me – into the school chorus even though I was only in 3^rd grade and one had to be in 4^th, 5^th or 6^th to join.  I was in the school chorus every single year since, right up to senior year.

• My middle school music teacher, Mr. Hackney, was actually a neighbor!  He lived at the end of my street and would always greet me when I was walking to a friend’s house.  He was an accomplished musician; I’ll never forget being at the beach and seeing him in the big band!

•  Mr. Jonathan Shailor!  *sigh*  Putting aside the fact that I had the most insane crush on him, he was also a wonderful teacher.  His skilled direction allowed me to play the part of Viola in “Twelfth Night” – including a sword scene – even though I was (and am) terrified of swords.  He allowed me to cry on his shoulder the day I found out that a dear friend had committed suicide.  He had the hardest time finding a project for me to go beyond my comfort zone (when it came to performing, there WAS no “beyond”); he settled for writing an absolutely hilarious parody piece for me to deliver as a singing telegram to the vice principal in the main hall during the busiest time of day.  I could go on…

• I’ll cap it off with a man who, while he wasn’t a teacher, I still learned a lot from: my high school principal, Stanley “Stan the Man” Stoncius.  Professionally, I probably wouldn’t be where I am today if it weren’t for him.  I worked one period a day in his office, assisting the secretaries or working the in-house switchboard.  Knowing that I was interested in following the field of administration, he would often give me jobs and tasks more fitting an actual secretary than a student-volunteer.  At graduation, he even told me to use him as a WORK reference!

To all of my friends and family who work in the wonderful field of education, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.  You KNOW that there are kids out there who will think as fondly of you as I do about these wonderful people…some of the people who made me what I am today.

If Music Be the Food of Love, Play On, Give Me Excess of It

I'm ripping off...er, I mean borrowing, my title from my favorite Shakespearian play, "Twelfth Night".  For me, music is the food for my soul.  So much of my life is connected with music.

Like most people, certain landmarks are touched by certain songs, or some songs bring back a memory.  Here are some of my favorites:

• "Spinning Wheel" by Blood, Sweat & Tears.  I remember I was about 4 and one of my siblings telling me to listen VERY carefully during the fade-out of that song, and being thrilled to hear the calliope.
• "Day By Day" and "By My Side" from Godspell.  We bought the soundtrack album for our mother, as the first song was a favorite of hers at the time.  The second one I sang with my oldest sister frequently while she played the guitar.  I totally put my love of singing in harmony with that song.
• "Feeling Stronger Every Day" by Chicago and "Shambala" by Three Dog Night.  Ah, summer of 1973.  The family got to spend an entire week at the beach!  I remember having a "pet" seaweed, and my baby brother slept in a drawer that was pulled out to make a little crib for him.  I also remember the outdoor shower...when I hated showers at the time.
• "Lucy In the Sky with Diamonds" by Elton John.  His remake of the Beatles song came out when I was in the throes of my Paint-By-Numbers phase...and I can still smell the oil paints when I hear it.
• "Rubberband Man" by the Spinners.  Every New Year's Eve I would have my little transistor radio tuned to the Top 100 Countdown.  For some reason I remember exactly where I was when this song came on the 1976 countdown - I was making myself a little dinner - even though I don't remember what number it was.
• "Don't Stop" by Fleetwood Mac.  My High School graduation song, where I actually had a small and final victory over one teacher who was constantly "butting heads" with me.  Long story.
• "Hold Me", also by Fleetwood Mac.  This was the "Our Song" for me and my husband; he arranged to have it playing when he proposed.
• "We Belong" by Pat Benatar.  While my husband and I were dating, we actually broke up at one point.  The ball was in my court, and I prayed for guidance in making my decision as to whether we should get back together or not...when this came on the radio.
• "Invincible", again, by Pat Benatar; "Room To Move" by Animotion; "Survivor" by Collin Raye.  These songs represent various hard times we had and each gave us strength.
• "Isn't She Lovely" by Stevie Wonder.  While the song was released in 1976, it automatically brings 2002 to mind.  We hadn't heard the song in YEARS.  However, soon after we found out that our first baby was going to be a girl, we started hearing it everywhere: on the radio, in the stores, even at a restaurant we ate at!
• "That Don't Impress Me Much" by Shania Twain.  I was asked if I wanted music when I was in the hospital while our first daughter was being born.  I didn't know that was an option!  Naturally, I said yes, so they put on the radio.  The moment she was born this was the song that was playing.
• "The Warrior Is a Child" by Twila Paris.  Lesson learned: I brought a CD to have played for our second daughter's birth, and this is the song that was on during her arrival.
• "Muddy Water" by Trace Adkins and "Letter From God" by Teea Goans.  These were the songs that each of our daughters, respectively, chose to have played during their baptisms. 

There are so very more, as I can pretty much connect a song to every memory, feeling or event.

The Lighter Side of 2016

Let's face it.  2016 was a pretty terrible year.  High crime.  An incredibly divisive election.  More celebrity deaths than I can ever remember, losing the likes of Prince, David Bowie, Glenn Frey, Gene Wilder, Florence Henderson, Holly Dunn, Janet Waldo, two members of Emerson, Lake & Palmer, and THREE members of "The Patty Duke Show"...to name a very, very few.  It's heartbreaking.

However, I've decided, at the end of this year, to try to remember the good things that happened to me, personally, this year.  

I've never been one to write out annual newsletters - although I truly do enjoy reading the ones I get - but I figured that there's a first time for everything, and THIS particular year needs it more than most!

So here is the Fahel View of 2016!

January:  The Coutermarsh side of the family had a gathering.  It's rare when a large percentage of us can get together, and this was as nice a gathering as could be.

February:   Elizabeth participated in the AWANA quiz, with Deborah volunteering as co-captain.  Elizabeth also celebrated her 11th birthday with a trip to Toys R Us (which just happened to have a Pokemon Day while we were there) and dinner at Red Robin.

April:  Elizabeth attended her final AWANA Awards Night, ending a 10-year involvement in the program for our family.

May:  Deborah was inducted into the National Junior Honor Society, while Elizabeth applied for and was selected as part of her school's Leadership Council, where she served on a board that was interviewed by the Mayor, school board, and various members of local government and parents.  Deborah also had a "gig" with the Chamber Orchestra performing at Barnes & Noble, one of the first times the Chamber Orchestra was asked to perform outside of the school.

June:  Elizabeth graduated from elementary school with high honors, receiving the President's Academic Award.  Deborah finished 7th grade with high honors.  Elizabeth also participated in a week-long music camp at our church, learning choral singing and ukulele.

July/August: Deborah once again participated in Breakthrough, taking up tennis along with the academic studies she so enjoys.  Elizabeth spent her time in a YMCA camp, where she earned Camper of the Week, then Camper of the Day, then finally Camper of Camp at the end.

Also in August we witnessed an adoption, and my company moved from a pretty bad location to a lovely new office with great location, ample parking, and a thermostat that WE can control!  This month Leigh also got Officer of the Month at his job.

September:  Leigh & I celebrated our 31st anniversary by taking the girls to a local car show.  That may not sound great, but we love it and had a wonderful time.

Also in September, Elizabeth started her first year of middle school, while Deborah started her last.  Deborah was also elected Vice President of Student Council, and they both auditioned for - and were accepted by - the Chamber Orchestra.  Ordinarily, 6th graders aren't accepted, but Elizabeth figured she would give it a shot.  She also joined Deborah as members of our church's Youth Group.

October:  Elizabeth got braces.  While not exactly a "good" thing per se, it was needed for more than just cosmetic reasons, so that makes it good.

 November:  Deborah turned 14.  Her choice for her birthday?  Just for all of us to stay home in "jammies", relax, call out for pizza, and watch "Flowers for Algernon" (one of her birthday gifts).  Later in the month we also attended our friend Kevin's ordination service.

Which brings us to now...December:  Even though today is only the 9th, it's already been a full time.  As a member of NJHS, Deborah got to ride on a float in the city's Christmas parade...and then Elizabeth was invited to join in.  The next day Deborah, Elizabeth & I were all involved in the church's Christmas pageant.  Deborah narrated.  Elizabeth & I were in the Adult Choir and the Ladies' Ensemble, but Elizabeth was also in the Youth Choir.  Then there were 2 concerts, back-to-back: 6th-grade strings, followed by 7th- and 8th-grade strings with Chamber Orchestra.

I'll admit that, as bad as 2016 was overall, there were a lot of bright spots in it.  Here's to hoping and praying that 2017 will be a lot better.

Respect

Last week I was watching some old game shows, "To Tell the Truth" and "What's My Line".  These were all older episodes from (I think) the mid-60s.  I couldn't help but notice quite a few things:

• All of the women were well-dressed; a contestant was even wearing a hat and gloves;
• All of the men were wearing suits;
• All of the people spoke in moderate tones, no yelling or shouting;
• There was quite a bit of joking around, but it was all "clean" and more in line with good-natured ribbing. 

It kind of made me...well, not sad exactly...closer to reflective.  

Nowadays people don't get "dressed up" unless they absolutely HAVE to, and it's mostly for things like weddings and funerals...and, in most cases, not even then.  It seems to me that people take MORE pride in how "dressed DOWN" they can be.

One time I mentioned that, for me, not going out in ripped clothes or pajama pants was a source of self-respect.  I was informed by someone that THEY  respected themselves enough to "be comfortable" and not care about what other people thought of them.

Which brings me to speech.  Recently I read that people who swear and use foul language are "more honest" and even show higher intelligence.  I don't see that.  To me, it takes more intelligence - and imagination - to THINK about what you say and not fall into base language...and a person can be honest AND tactful at the same time, contrary to popular opinion.

I guess a lot of this boils down to respecting others.

I respect others enough to want to show my "best face".

I respect others enough not to want to use coarse language.

I respect others enough to try to be honest, yet tactful.

I respect others enough to hear or read their opinions and not hate them for differing from mine.

I respect others enough to go to a ceremony, school concert, etc., and continue to sit quietly and pay attention, even when "my" part is done.

I'm not perfect.  I slip up as much as anybody. I do think it would be easier if more people at least attempted to show some level of respect...for themselves, as well as others.

Thankfully, I'm pretty much surrounded by some pretty respectful people.



 

Christmases Past

Like most people, I love Christmas.  I love the lights, the decorations, the music…the general feeling of goodwill that just naturally seems to permeate the surroundings.  There is also a general sense of nostalgia that happens.  I don’t know if it is because it’s so close to the end of the year, or because people are reminded of their childhoods, or what they wish their childhoods were like, but people love to look back.  

When decorating, most people look at ornaments and remember where they were when they got it, or who gave it to them.  Anything from pretty store-bought ones that mark a special occasion, or the sweet, funny-looking hand-made ones from children, people remember.

I remember…I remember…

Like others, I have some favorite Christmas memories:

One year, right before Christmas, a popular store was closing and was having a close-out sale.  My husband, father-in-law and I decided to check it out.  At one point my FIL found a beautiful set of owl prints: my husband loves owls.  He took me aside, gave me the money, told me to buy it and hide it in the car.  I rushed to the task and hurried back.  A little while later my husband found a deep fryer.  My FIL had wanted a new one.  So, my husband took me aside…you can guess the rest.  There I was, quite literally sitting on TWO Christmas surprises!  I don’t know what was better: their expressions when they both opened the loved gifts, or their expressions when it was discovered when they were purchased!

Going back, when I was in my early teens, I had noticed a rather large box with my name on it.  I wondered and wondered what it could be.  I thought it might be a TV…MY VERY OWN TV!  I took a tape measure and measured the box, then measured the smaller TV in my parents’ room.  Nope: the box was too small.  OK, so it wasn’t a TV…what could it be?  One day my brother called me.  He knew about the box, and asked that I not open it until he was there to see me open it.  That REALLY piqued my curiosity!  Finally, Christmas morning came.  My brother arrived.  I opened the box…and it was…A TV!!!  A small, “wood” framed, black & white TV.  I loved it.

I worked in retail for a few years.  One year I had gotten a kit to make a nativity scene out of plastic canvas with needlepoint.  I would take the kit to work every day and work on it during breaks.  It quickly became a spectator sport, with people trying to take their breaks at the same time so they could see the progress.  I did get to finish it right before Christmas, so I put it on display in the break room that year, and the Christmas after that.  (Sadly, the year after that there were a lot of newer people who thought it was funnier to take parts of it and hide it, so I stopped after that.)

The first time I was ever able to take part in a church Christmas pageant was unforgettable.  I had always wanted to be part of one, but never had the opportunity.  Finally, the opportunity came.  I played an angel.  My older daughter, who had just turned 2, was also an angel, along with another woman who had a 2-year-old son.  The funny thing was, I was 40, and the other woman and I were both pregnant!

Side note: the next year we got to do the pageant as a family: my husband & I got to be Mary & Joseph, our new baby daughter was Baby Jesus...and our older daughter was a lamb.

 

And, to wrap up, a few memory bits:

The Christmas when I was maybe 5, when I got a gorgeous rocking chair and a life-sized rag doll.

The Christmas I got Barbie’s Country Camper: I kept the box to put my dirty clothes in, and called it my Barbie’s Country Hamper.

The Christmas eve of 2004, when I sang “It Was a Starry Night” in a duet with one of my favorite people, while 7 months pregnant with our second daughter.

The Christmas I received almost everything Kliban Cat, including sheets, a towel, a t-shirt, and a diary.

The Christmas when I first FELT like a parent; when our oldest just turned 2 and really “got it” for the first time.

Merry Christmas, everybody.  Enjoy celebrating our Savior’s birth, and creating new memories.

Punch WHAT?

There is a new phrase that is going around nowadays.  It’s a phrase that is used to show frustration against a person.  If someone bothers you, this is the phrase that is in use:

“Punch them in the throat.”

Graphic, much?

However, THIS is the way people are showing frustration!  I don’t think that they will actually DO this horrible thing, but to even say it is deeply disturbing.  It’s not even like people say it about someone who does something horrible, like physical abuse, murder or assault.  They say it over annoyances.  Minor annoyances.

The first time I read it, I really didn’t think much of it, figuring that it was just one person.  However, I have been seeing it pop up more and more…and the more I see it, the more disturbing I find it.

It used to be “slap them upside the head”, which, while still physical, isn’t nearly as hurtful or dangerous.  It’s actually a little funny.  Kind of like “He hits my hair!” from the movie Saturday Night Fever.   

You want to smack some sense into the person.  Fine.

But…”punch them in the throat”…?

The very thought of it is horrifying.