This is dedicated to my mother, Theresa “Terry”
Coutermarsh, who passed away on March 8, 2018.
Some of my earliest memories of her were of how
beautiful she was. She had this
gorgeous, deep, dark, “Irish Setter”-colored hair that I both envied and
adored. Imagine my shock when I found
out that it came from a bottle! She
always took care of herself, looked nice, and I especially loved how she would
get all “gussied up” when going out with Dad!
Her hair done up, a gorgeous dress…she looked like a queen…but she only
wore a touch of lipstick for makeup.
I liked watching TV with her in my parents’
room…especially when she let me have one of her special caramels. She didn’t give them to me often, as I found
out later that they were “diet” caramels.
I remember when she asked me if I wanted to see a brand-new show made
especially for kids when I was about 6; I could watch it in her room if I
wanted. That was my introduction to
“Sesame Street”.
When I was in first grade we had our school portraits
taken. I clearly remember in the letter
sent home to parents it said to have your child look “natural”. She decided that I had naturally curly hair
& gave me a perm!
We did a lot of things together as I grew up. We watched game shows, went to the movies
together, went to yard sales & Goodwill.
Every time I see tap shoes I remember how she would let me hang in the
shoe section while she shopped because I could just sit and stare at a pair
that was always there. She wouldn’t get
them for me – I didn’t “tap”, after all – but I could “visit” them all I wanted
to. The weird thing was…they were always
there.
I remember when I got my first period. I was in school and couldn’t wait to go home
to tell her. In celebration she took me
to see the movie “Superdad”.
My teen years were a mixed bag. Mom & Dad had a lot of “grown-up” worries
going on that they didn’t want me to worry about; in return, I had a lot of
“teenager” worries, which included severe and constant bullying, that I likewise
didn’t want them to worry about. Mom was
also going through menopause during this time, so there were some clashes.
However, it was also during this time that she & I
went grocery shopping together every Wednesday evening, which was followed by
dinner. I treasure those Wednesday
evenings deep in my heart. The shopping
doesn’t sound like fun, but it was. We
also did household shopping. It was
always followed by dinner: sometimes pizza, sometimes Chinese…we’d eat and
talk.
She always loved her Soaps: “One Life to Live” and
“General Hospital”. As a small child I
pretty much just ignored it. In my
Junior High years I openly scoffed, as any good Junior High kid would. However, I dove head-long into the whole Luke
& Laura thing! She & I would
watch together; we cried at the wedding together. Soon around the time of the “Ice Princess”,
however, I started losing interest again.
When I was 15-16, I was a regular at a teen disco that
had opened up in town, called Studio C.
That was something else that Mom encouraged; me getting out and dancing. I’d go with my best friend and we’d dance all
night. I admit that there was a lot of
the juvenile criminal element hanging around there, but I never compromised my
principles. I soon became their “little
sister”! During this time I had some
kind of heart problem. I was having
chest pains. I went to the doctor who said that I was under too much stress (and a lot of other things, long
forgotten) and told me to avoid all caffeine.
He asked what activities I did and I mentioned Studio C. He said to Mom, “I would never let my
daughter go out like that!” Mom replied,
“What did you do as a kid; stay home and play with your books?”
Mom also helped me get my first job. She was a waitress at the Green Ridge Turkey
Farm Restaurant for many years; she got me in as a hostess one night a week
when I was 16. I was amazed at how many
customers would ask for her specifically, week after week! I also loved customers coming up to me to
tell me what “great service Terry gave us”…then wondered why I was beaming from
ear to ear.
Things got really crazy when both grandmothers came to
live with us. I shared a room with Mom’s
mother while Dad’s mother lived across the hall. They really didn’t get along, but their
favorite thing to fight over was my attention.
Mom & Dad had jobs and home-things to take care of; the older siblings were all out in the world; and Peter was still
really little. That left me. Mom told me later that she regretted putting
me in that position (and not putting me into therapy).
Side note: I remember one Easter when Dad’s mother was
insulted because Mom gave her an Easter basket.
Mom had worked her butt off fixing up a basket with her favorite treats,
yet she said that she was being treated “like a kid”. While I was raised to respect my elders, I
followed her into her room and yelled at her, letting her know exactly how much
work and love Mom put into that “childish” basket.
I can’t think about Mom without thinking about
music. Music was always a huge part of
my life. There was almost always music
playing in the house. I remember Mom
particularly loved the soundtrack from “Godspell”, with the song “Day By Day”
being a particular favorite (it’s actually her ringtone on my phone). I’ll never forget how happy she was the first
time she saw me sing in church…when I was in my 40s. She said that she always wanted to see me
sing in church. I was further blessed to
be able to have her see me sing in church with my own daughter in the choir.
She was a fun Mémère.
Quite a few times my girls would spend overnights with her & Dad,
and they would take the girls places: York Beach, Budweiser Brewery tours (no
kidding; those tours are great and very family-friendly), even the beach. The cookie jar was always full and there was
always ice cream for dessert. The girls
loved the pull-out couch & staying up late, but Mom always encouraged them
to call (or text) us goodnight.
I love you, Mom, and I’ll miss you terribly. Say hello to Peter for me.
