My Mom

This is dedicated to my mother, Theresa “Terry” Coutermarsh, who passed away on March 8, 2018.

I wish to share some memories of my Superwoman mother.

Some of my earliest memories of her were of how beautiful she was.  She had this gorgeous, deep, dark, “Irish Setter”-colored hair that I both envied and adored.  Imagine my shock when I found out that it came from a bottle!  She always took care of herself, looked nice, and I especially loved how she would get all “gussied up” when going out with Dad!  Her hair done up, a gorgeous dress…she looked like a queen…but she only wore a touch of lipstick for makeup.

I liked watching TV with her in my parents’ room…especially when she let me have one of her special caramels.  She didn’t give them to me often, as I found out later that they were “diet” caramels.  I remember when she asked me if I wanted to see a brand-new show made especially for kids when I was about 6; I could watch it in her room if I wanted.  That was my introduction to “Sesame Street”.

When I was in first grade we had our school portraits taken.  I clearly remember in the letter sent home to parents it said to have your child look “natural”.  She decided that I had naturally curly hair & gave me a perm!

We did a lot of things together as I grew up.  We watched game shows, went to the movies together, went to yard sales & Goodwill.  Every time I see tap shoes I remember how she would let me hang in the shoe section while she shopped because I could just sit and stare at a pair that was always there.  She wouldn’t get them for me – I didn’t “tap”, after all – but I could “visit” them all I wanted to.  The weird thing was…they were always there.

I remember when I got my first period.  I was in school and couldn’t wait to go home to tell her.  In celebration she took me to see the movie “Superdad”.

My teen years were a mixed bag.  Mom & Dad had a lot of “grown-up” worries going on that they didn’t want me to worry about; in return, I had a lot of “teenager” worries, which included severe and constant bullying, that I likewise didn’t want them to worry about.  Mom was also going through menopause during this time, so there were some clashes.

However, it was also during this time that she & I went grocery shopping together every Wednesday evening, which was followed by dinner.  I treasure those Wednesday evenings deep in my heart.  The shopping doesn’t sound like fun, but it was.  We also did household shopping.  It was always followed by dinner: sometimes pizza, sometimes Chinese…we’d eat and talk.

She always loved her Soaps: “One Life to Live” and “General Hospital”.  As a small child I pretty much just ignored it.  In my Junior High years I openly scoffed, as any good Junior High kid would.  However, I dove head-long into the whole Luke & Laura thing!  She & I would watch together; we cried at the wedding together.  Soon around the time of the “Ice Princess”, however, I started losing interest again.

When I was 15-16, I was a regular at a teen disco that had opened up in town, called Studio C.  That was something else that Mom encouraged; me getting out and dancing.  I’d go with my best friend and we’d dance all night.  I admit that there was a lot of the juvenile criminal element hanging around there, but I never compromised my principles.  I soon became their “little sister”!  During this time I had some kind of heart problem.  I was having chest pains.  I went to the doctor who said that I was under too much stress (and a lot of other things, long forgotten) and told me to avoid all caffeine.  He asked what activities I did and I mentioned Studio C.  He said to Mom, “I would never let my daughter go out like that!”  Mom replied, “What did you do as a kid; stay home and play with your books?”

Mom also helped me get my first job.  She was a waitress at the Green Ridge Turkey Farm Restaurant for many years; she got me in as a hostess one night a week when I was 16.  I was amazed at how many customers would ask for her specifically, week after week!  I also loved customers coming up to me to tell me what “great service Terry gave us”…then wondered why I was beaming from ear to ear.

Things got really crazy when both grandmothers came to live with us.  I shared a room with Mom’s mother while Dad’s mother lived across the hall.  They really didn’t get along, but their favorite thing to fight over was my attention.  Mom & Dad had jobs and home-things to take care of; the older siblings were all out in the world; and Peter was still really little.  That left me.  Mom told me later that she regretted putting me in that position (and not putting me into therapy).

Side note: I remember one Easter when Dad’s mother was insulted because Mom gave her an Easter basket.  Mom had worked her butt off fixing up a basket with her favorite treats, yet she said that she was being treated “like a kid”.  While I was raised to respect my elders, I followed her into her room and yelled at her, letting her know exactly how much work and love Mom put into that “childish” basket.

I can’t think about Mom without thinking about music.  Music was always a huge part of my life.  There was almost always music playing in the house.  I remember Mom particularly loved the soundtrack from “Godspell”, with the song “Day By Day” being a particular favorite (it’s actually her ringtone on my phone).  I’ll never forget how happy she was the first time she saw me sing in church…when I was in my 40s.  She said that she always wanted to see me sing in church.  I was further blessed to be able to have her see me sing in church with my own daughter in the choir.

She was a fun Mémère.  Quite a few times my girls would spend overnights with her & Dad, and they would take the girls places: York Beach, Budweiser Brewery tours (no kidding; those tours are great and very family-friendly), even the beach.  The cookie jar was always full and there was always ice cream for dessert.  The girls loved the pull-out couch & staying up late, but Mom always encouraged them to call (or text) us goodnight.

I love you, Mom, and I’ll miss you terribly.  Say hello to Peter for me.